1:26 a.m., 28th of December 2020 - I was on my laptop with the intention of reading the materials provided by my lecturer before class starts tomorrow because I wanted to be a productive student (A+ for trying to make an effort). But then I don’t know how I was suddenly on Youtube watching the THIRD ‘Study With Me’ video instead of ACTUALLY studying? I know - the irony. Then, I came across a video from one of my favourite youtubers, Nuria Ma. It was her 2021 Goals video and in the video she did this really cool mood board and so I thought - I SHOULD DO THIS TOO!
So I went on Canva and searched for mood board templates because I’m nowhere near being an artsy person to start from the scratch (also because it was 1:30 a.m. and I have classes the next morning - I can’t afford to miss another lecture from waking up late). After scrolling and choosing the best template, I finally settled for something cute (and free). Then, I went to Pinterest, heaven to some aesthetic pictures… and I went blank. How can I create a mood board for my 2021 when I don't even know what my goal is?
I started to think about my 2020, and wow I think I deserve an award. I think we all do. For just still being here mentally and physically - alive, living and surviving. It has been a long (even if it doesn’t feel like it) and the toughest year of my life so far. I don't really talk about my struggles online but when I really need to talk about my feelings, I will rant about them to my best friends, and I’m so grateful to have them in my life, and I wouldn’t trade them for the world (also because they know too much about me already so I can’t really... - you know) I think everyone struggled with at least something this year- money, relationships, work, studies, family problems, losing someone you love, mental or even physical health. Imagine going through all of these IN A PANDEMIC!? So if you’re reading this and you have or still are struggling with something, I just want to say that you’re doing great sweetie and I’m proud of you!! <3.
I didn’t get to achieve all of my goals this year. In fact, I think I only achieved 2 out of 5 and those are getting accepted into EIC and clearing up my skin. But this year, I also had to learn how to let go and move on from the person whom I thought meant so much to me. Even though it wasn’t in my ‘2020 Goal List’, it was a good slap in the face and it has taught me so much. That, nothing is permanent and happiness is something that you can and should never find in someone else, but it must be from within you. I have learnt that we should always put ourselves first, never settle for less and if you have to choose - always choose YOU.
My goals, every year, have always been material goals and they don't do any good to me, mentally. Often enough, they have instead led me to put high expectations on myself that will then lead to disappointments. Therefore, for my 2021 mood board, I switched it up a lil’ bit. Less material and more spiritual. I just want to be happy and content, and I wish the same for you too!
xoxo Addy
P.s. hope you like my 2021 mood board
Proofread by Ilyana Elisa & Illya-Wardina
Published by Muhammad Hadwan & Aisyah Hanim
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