hello my dearest, my love,
I wish you were right here, looking at me with a smile, saying "I'm proud of you" and holding my hand—with a soft grip to affirm me that everything is okay.
It was good while it lasted. You were there, laughing with me while watching our favourite show. When it was lunch time, we enjoyed the meal together and I helped you to swallow down your meds. Funny how you were mad when other people forced you to eat meds but when all i did was handing you the tablet, you proudly consumed it with a big smile. Sometimes you joked around, as if you were doing magic tricks with me when the tablet was gone from your palm.
It was fun while it lasted. Back when we celebrated your birthday with a cake and KFC for dinner. That was the most memorable moment with you and the others, too. We had fun. when you would suddenly say "brrr" out of nowhere after you took a sip of coca cola. The whole house bursted into laughter. You were a good comedian, you know?
It was beautiful while it lasted. I always followed you to go to check ups. Sometimes, I would ask my dad if I could skip school to follow you to the hospital. It hurt, but I think it was a hopeful moment for me, knowing that you were recovering from the things that made you sick. I hated it when we saw the doctor. When they had to inject you with something. But you never whined. You always showed me you were strong and that you got it. I believe that you were. The soft grip when you held my hand said it all.
It was painful when you were gone. It hurts to the core. You were there lying on your bed when I came. I sat beside you and held your hand tight, a little tighter than your soft grip. I was afraid to let your hand go. Your eyes stared into mine with tears falling off your cheeks. I know you were in pain, my love. And I felt sorry I couldn't do much to heal you.
It was cold when you were gone. I was shocked, my body fell to the ground when I heard my dad say "innalillah". Ya Allah, you were taken away from me. I was questioning, why? Why couldn't you stay with us, with me? My aunt gave me a hug and said you are now no longer in pain. That moment made me think, it was your time to go and be without the pain you had been suffering from. You were and still are a hero in my eyes, the one that gave me strength to hold a hand and guide myself.
I'm proud of you, grandpa, my love. Thank you for the amazing 11 years. Thank you God for lending me a very thoughtful human being in my life. May Allah grant you jannah, Al-Fatihah.
Proofread by Ilyana Elisa & Illya-Wardina
Published by Aisyah Hanim
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